We all have been in this dilemma plenty of times where someone has hurt us and we have to make the decision to either try to forgive them and move forward or to tell someone how you really feel. I’ve done both many times and I’m realizing the way I feel after is pretty much the same.
When I attempt to understand and move forward I end up bottling up these tiny resentments that then build to a huge explosion at some random point in time. When I tell someone how I’m feeling, they usually make excuses that anger me more because they aren’t understanding that I just want them to acknowledge how I feel. Either way I don’t feel understood, or like my feelings matter at all.
By constantly ignoring every situation in which someone has hurt you, you can become someone who people can easily take advantage of. If you are open with your feelings people sometimes aren’t as receptive as you wished they would be and then you feel the dynamic between you begin to shift because people don’t like to be told when they are wrong. Obviously I have been on both sides, the one who has been hurt and the one who has done the hurting. I’ve also picked both choices in how I reacted to the situation. I can honestly say I don’t know which one is the best choice. Do we really gain anything from either? If someone you thought was your friend can’t acknowledge your feelings, even if they don’t think they did anything wrong, then who was that person to you in the first place?
All I know is people wish to be heard and they wish for their feelings to be validated and respected.